Crinkley Bottom Observer

29th November 2005

BACK FOR GOOD?

In recognition of this unexpected turn of events, we’re giving you the chance to party like it’s 1995 by listening to tracks from ‘Never Forget: The Ultimate Collection’, the definitive account of Take That’s chart-topping career. What’s more, we’ve got video streams of four of their biggest hits (‘Back For Good’, ‘Never Forget’, ‘Relight My Fire’, and ‘Pray’) for your viewing pleasure. How deep is our love, eh?

‘Never Forget: The Ultimate Collection’ – Album Tracks

Never Forget- broadband connection

Never Forget- 56k connection

Back For Good - broadband connection

Back For Good - 56k connection

How Deep Is Your Love? – broadband connection

How Deep Is Your Love? – 56k connection

Pray - broadband connection

Pray - 56k connection

Relight My Fire – broadband connection

Relight My Fire - 56k connection

Everything Changes – broadband connection

Everything Changes - 56k connection

Babe - broadband connection

Babe - 56k connection

Sure – broadband connection

Sure - 56k connection

More album tracks

Only Takes A Minute - broadband connection

Only Takes A Minute - 56k connection

Million Love Songs - broadband connection

Million Love Songs - 56k connection

Could It Be Magic? – broadband connection

Could It Be Magic? - 56k connection

Why Can’t I Wake Up With You? - broadband

Why Can’t I Wake Up With You? - 56k connection

Love Ain’t Here Any More - broadband connection

Love Ain’t Here Any More - 56k connection

I Found Heaven – broadband connection

I Found Heaven – 56k connection

Promises - broadband connection

Promises – 56k connection

Once You’ve Tasted Love - broadband connection

Once You’ve Tasted Love – 56k connection

For Your Viewing Pleasure – Video Streams

Back For Good – broadband connection

Back For Good - 56k connection

Never Forget - broadband connection

Never Forget - 56k connection

Pray - broadband connection

Pray - 56k connection

Relight My Fire - broadband connection

Relight My Fire – 56k connection

28th November 2005

How to Cook a Turkey

Step 1: Go buy a turkey

Step 2: Take a drink of whiskey, scotch, or JD

Step 3: Put turkey in the oven

Step 4: Take another 2 drinks of whiskey

Step 6: Take 3 more whiskeys of drink

Step 7: Turn oven the on

Step 8: Take 4 whisks of drinky

Step 9: Turk the bastey

Step 10: Whiskey another bottle of get

Step 11: Stick a turkey in the thermometer

Step 12: Glass yourself a pour of whiskey

Step 13: Bake the whiskey for 4 hours

Step 14: Take the oven out of the turkey

Step 15: Take the oven out of the turkey

Step 16: Floor the turkey up off the pick

Step 17: Turk the carvey

Step 18: Get yourself another scottle of botch

Step 19: Tet the sable and pour yourself a glass of turkey

Step 20: Bless the saying, pass and eat out!

Merry Christmas!

28th November 2005

Man has 6 day erection

A man suffering from a form of priapism – a permanent erection – became something of a tourist attraction in the Dominican Republic. After he admitted himself to hospital with the complaint, doctors, nurses and other medical professionals traveled there to see it for themselves. The condition was not caused by Viagra, but was the result of a form of anemia, and surgery was required to fix the problem and prevent impotence.

27th November 2005

Largest Underpants
Measuring in at a whopping 14.4 m (47 ft 3 in) wide and 10.48 m (34 ft 5 in) high were a pair of underpants made by Make Poverty History campaigners in Bolton, England, UK. The Y-fronts were displayed and measured in Bolton town square, Bolton, UK on November 9, 2005, as part of the inaugural Guinness World Records day, and to raise awareness of poverty.

The oversized underpants were officially measured by Guinness World Records adjudicator Laura Barrett, witnessed by the town’s Mayor and Mayoress, Councillor Frank White and Mrs Eileen White. Councillor White, said: “I never thought in my wildest dreams that as Mayor I would be measuring a pair of underpants, but there is no finer cause than eliminating poverty!”

27th November 2005

Is Alfred Hitchcock’s film (The Birds) starting to ring true.

I have been reading through some articles on people being attacked from birds and some frightening experiences of what our feathered friends are capable of.

The latest incident happened in the United Kingdom in the County of Devon.

Re article: Helmets deflect seagull attacks

Flocks of seagulls have been attacking staff who collect weather data from the roof of council offices in Newton Abbot.

One victim, David Potter, said: “It can be really bad and it’s getting worse. It is my fourth year doing the job and there are more and more gulls.

“The big gulls swoop at my head and are backed up by half a dozen others which scream and dive-bomb me.

“It’s very distressing but at least we now have crash helmets to protect us from being pecked about the head and face.”

The data is collected every day and is used by the Met Office as part of its national record-keeping and weather forecasting.

Past articles: Close encounters of the fluttering kind: a rise in bird attacks
By Patrik Jonsson | Correspondent of The Christian Science Monitor

RALEIGH, N.C. – US Postal carrier Keith Cooper is used to dogs sneering from behind metal gates. He’s used to uncivil people who expect to find something in their mailbox and then don’t.

But this week, as he trundled across Boylan Heights in this Southern city, he ran into a new problem: rambunctious birds. “I was ducking this way, then ducking that way, trying to get away,” Mr. Cooper says, recalling a few frenzied seconds where beaks flashed like tiny daggers. “I had no idea what was going on.”

It turned out to be an entire Tippi Hedron day. He wasn’t divebombed just once, but three times in three different parts of the city.

Nor is Cooper the only one seemingly in the flight path of B-52 birds these days. For some inexplicable reason, from Houston to Washington, it’s been the year of aggressive mockingbirds, crows, hawks, and even woodpeckers.

To a noticeable degree, especially by those getting strafed, it seems like Alfred Hitchcock, the reality series.

Past articles: Suburb suffers seagull ‘attacks’

Residents of a Cardiff suburb say they have had to take evasive action to avoid attack from a flock of aggressive seagulls.

Some residents of the Pontcanna area of Cardiff say they have been forced to carry umbrellas to deter low-flying attacks from the birds.

pugs says: Whatever is going on? these are just a few of many incidents happening around the Globe lately. Are they trying to tell us something?

Lord Archer was jailed for perjury

Jeffrey Archer has made a bid to rejoin the Conservative Party, but his application is yet to be processed, party officials have said.

Reports the disgraced peer had rejoined the party in Vauxhall, south London, were denied, but officials then said he had asked to rejoin in Cambridgeshire.

Lord Archer has homes in both south London and Cambridgeshire.

The peer was expelled by the Tories in 2000 because of his lies in a libel case and was jailed for perjury.

Aides of leadership candidate David Cameron have said he believes there should be no question of Lord Archer retaking the Conservative whip.

In the past I wanted to be chairman of the Conservative Party and I wanted to be Mayor of London Lord Archer

The confusion comes after a report in the Times, based on an interview in an Australian newspaper, suggested the author recently rejoined the local association in south London, after serving a five-year expulsion.

A party statement initially said it had no record of Lord Archer rejoining the Conservative Party and that the Vauxhall association had no record of any application.

But a party spokesman then said: “We understand he has approached party officials in Cambridgeshire about joining.

“But his application has not been processed at this point.”

Lord Archer returned to the upper chamber in May for the first time since his release from jail in 2003 and sits as a “non-affiliated” peer.

But he is also reported to have spoken to the Tory’s chief whip in the Lords about the possibility of rejoining the Conservative benches.

‘Sympathetically’

A spokesman for leadership hopeful David Cameron said it would be up to the next party leader to decide whether Lord Archer can sit as a Tory in the House of Lords.

He went on to say that David Cameron’s view was that Lord Archer’s days as an active politician are over and there is no question of him re-taking the Conservative whip.

Lord Archer had been a senior Conservative

David Davis has made no comment.

Baroness Miller, Tory spokesman for trade and industry in the House of Lords, and a friend of Lord Archer, said he should be able to retake the whip.

“I would like him to have it… He has served his sentence as it was for the offence he committed.

“Usually in English law, when these things are over they are over. I’d like to think they are with him too.”

Lord Archer nearly lost his seat in 2003 when the government planned to extend rules banning MPs who have served more than two years’ imprisonment to peers.

But the plans were shelved at the last minute.

In February, the then Conservative co-chairman Liam Fox said the party would not be averse to any application by the disgraced peer to rejoin its ranks.

The former deputy party chairman has raised millions of pounds for the Conservative Party and stood as its candidate for the high profile job as London mayor.

But he was forced to withdraw from the race in 2000 when it emerged he had lied in his 1986 High Court libel trial against the Daily Star.

He had wrongly won £500,000 in damages from the newspaper.

pugs says:
This man is a disgrace to Britain, and he has the audacity to put a bid in to rejoin the Conservative Party.
Why he still remains to keep his title as a Lord baffles me, when they can take Princess Diana’s title away for no good reason. The Country’s going to the dogs.

Forecasters predict temperatures are due to plummet

Forecasters are predicting that Britain could be facing one of the coldest winters in a decade.

Ewen McCallum, chief meteorologist at the Met Office, said the vulnerable and elderly would be particularly at risk as temperatures fall.

He said it was important to give an “amber alert” to government, fuel firms, business and the health sector.

But he added the aim was to ensure forward planning, not to scaremonger.

‘Mortality rises’

Mr McCallum told BBC Radio 4 Today’s programme: “We are working with the Department of Health and what we are finding is admissions to hospital increase dramatically and mortality actually goes up dramatically in cold weather.”

We have had a pattern of very, very mild winters over the last few years so this will come as a shock Ewen McCallum Met Office

He added that the aim was for “forward planning” to “make sure that government departments and business utilities have got their act together”.

The government has identified fuel poverty as a major cause of death among those who are unable or cannot afford to heat their homes properly.

Mr McCallum said the Met office prediction of a cold winter was 66% likely to be proved correct.

He said the calculations were based on the “North Atlantic oscillation” – a measure of sea temperatures which normally correlate with weather patterns.

Present readings suggest there will be much less westerly wind, which brings milder air from the Atlantic.

He said: “We have had a pattern of very, very mild winters over the last few years so this will come as a shock.”

Beauty or the Beast

pugs says: I quite like it, I think it’s a beauty.

25th November 2005

Climate change is perhaps the most pressing and urgent environmental issue facing the world today. The consequences of climate change have global economic and social implications.

The earth’s climate is maintained through interactions between the atmosphere, oceans, ice and land surface. The oceans play a crucial role in the earth’s climate by transporting heat around the world, through the interactions between the ocean’s surface and lower atmosphere and in the global carbon cycle.

We know that in the past climate has swung between warm and cold conditions as a result of natural processes. But now evidence is gathering that human activities are changing or accelerating climate change.Many of the world’s leading research centres are working to predict climate change scenarios.

Most agree that globally temperatures will rise (with consequences for plants and animals, on land and in the sea) and that sea level will rise and storms will increase (with consequences for communities in coastal and low lying areas and their habitats).

The uncertainty of climate change is further compounded by scenarios with a more regional effect, for example, in the North East Atlantic Ocean. Here global warming could result in turning off the Atlantic conveyor of warm water (including the Gulf Stream) travelling north to North West Europe.

This could happen due to melting Arctic ice causing the saltier warm water to sink before it can reach the Northeast Atlantic. In this scenario, while the rest of the world warms up the UK and North West Europe would cool down compared with today’s climate.

All these scenarios pose great uncertainties and this requires a scientific understanding of the role of the oceans in global climate and the consequences of change.

PML is working on a range of climate related research projects. These include the biogeochemical processes and role of organisms, particularly the marine microbes, in the global carbon cycle and exchanging biogases between the sea surface and lower atmosphere.

The Laboratory is also developing the latest satellite remote sensing tools for research and products in mapping and monitoring changes to the world’s oceans from space.

Our biodiversity teams are researching the changing diversity, habitats and the functional consequences of change. The development and implementation of novel technology to support research objectives is also a key part of the PML’s work into climate change.

25 November 2005

Jonathan Ross To Be Awarded OBE
For services to broadcasting…

By: Lowri Williams

Jonathan Ross is to be awarded and OBE for his services to broadcasting from Prince Charles.

Ross has been appearing on our screens for 20 years he fronted the Channel 4 chat show ‘The Last Resort’ in 1987.

He currently hosts ‘Friday Night With Jonathan Ross’, ‘They Think Its All Over’, ‘Film 2006’ and his Saturday morning programme on radio 2.

Other’s to be honoured at the investiture ceremony include British Airways boss, Rod Eddington who will receive a knighthood and musician John Mayall who will receive an OBE for championing the blues.